Life

I don't know
The equation of life
What is good ?
What is bad ?
How can I demand anything?
How can be ever disappointed?

Life doesn't listen to me
It flows in its own way
Whether I accept or reject it

But I can make my small life hell
Because I see it through the tiny window of mind
Where I have definitions of everything
Where I divide I compare I fear

I have lived so long in imprisonment because of fear
Now,
No more I will do anything to protect me from fear
Let it shake me and make me feel terrible

Let there be fear of disappearing
Let there be fear of left behind
Let there be fear of being lonely

I can't go back
I will stand alone without any support of knowledge
I know it will be very painful
I know, I will feel lost in crowd

Still,
I will not lean on anything except my heart
I will not lean on anything except my heart

Love

I am ready to let go all the hatred blocked in my heart

I forgive all the people who made me feel unsafe
I forgive all the people who insulted me for being ignorant
I forgive all the people who laughed at me for being the way I am
I forgive everyone who has hurt me in anyway

And allow love to flow from my Heart to All.

Nobody is my enemy
I see myself in everyone
How Can I hate anyone
Everyone is weak and vulnerable
So I am like anyone
Who am I judge to anyone
I have very limited vision
So I allow love to flow from my Heart to All.

Let life decides for everyone
I drop my mind conditions for love
Who deserves?
Who is worthy?
Who is not?
How can I ever know?
But I can allow love to flow from my Heart to All.

In my life journey,
I have also hurt so many
Many times I failed to fulfill expectations of my loved ones
Many times I made people to shed tears in disappointment
Many times I used ugly words to express my emotions
Many times I was incapable to understand other's pain

I apologize every single person who got hurt because of me
But I have no anger on myself for my actions
I did the best I could do in given circumstances
I am not born perfect,
who knows how to love from birth
who knows how to express pain and anger
who knows how to forgive

I am in the process to learn how to live
Someday I will leave this earth
Before I leave,
I set everyone free from any bondage from my side
I will carry nothing from here to there except Love

Let the love flow from my heart to All...
Let the love flow from my heart to All...

....

हे अगर हकीकत मोहबत की दर्द,
तो फिर दर्द ही सही !
पर मोहबत तू जरूरत है मेरी,
तेरे बिना होता मेरा गुज़ारा नहीं !

If the reality of love is pain,

so it is ..

But love is my deep need,

I can't live without it.

Suffering

Suffering is needed  for human growth like  a tree needs wind,rain, and sun for its growth. Suffering, Problems and Pain everything is given in life to sharpen our intelligence and to awake us otherwise we never bother about essential things in life. When some deadly disease knocks our door or somebody dear to us die, then immediately our perspective towards life changes within moments.

I am not saying we should invite suffering. I am saying when suffering enters in our life. Hold its hand and with love, ask what's the purpose of its Visit :-). It always brings some message and learning. A person who has never faced any problem is so weak that he will not have spine to stand his own but a person who faced the problems and suffered but converted his suffering into challenge and creativity. There will not be any fear in her eyes because s(he) knows her hidden capabilities to transform any problems into a learning.

स्वीकार नहीं कर पाई

मैं कहना तो सीख गई,
जो भी तू करता है, अच्छे के लिए करता है !
पर स्वीकार नहीं कर पाई
पड़ी रहती है कहीं अंतर्मन में,
शक की एक छोटी-सी डली !

एक स्वस्थ काया दी,
ख़ूबसूरती निहारने के लिए दो नैन दिए
संगीत का मजा लूटने के लिए दो कान दिए
धिरकने के लिए दो पैर भी दिए

नहीं देता, तो क्या तेरा बिगाड़ लेती !
कहने को तो बहुत दिया,
फिर भी, मुझे हमेशा कम लगा !

एक माँ दी, प्यार से पालने के लिए !
एक पिता दिया , शिक्षा की देख -भाल के लिए !
एक छत मिली बारिश में,
घी रोटी मिली भूख में !

ना  होता साया किसीका,
तो कैसे नाजुक बचपन को संभालती !
कहने को तो बहुत दिया,
फिर भी, मुझे हमेशा कम लगा !

जब गिरी लड़खड़ाकर  मैं ,
तूने किसी बहाने से मुझे धाम लिया !
कभी दे दिया वो, जिसकी मुझे चाहत थी
कभी जुदा कर दिया उसे, जो आज़ीज़ था

ना करता जुदा किसीको मुझसे,
तो आज मैं अपने प्यार के साथ कैसे होती
कहने को तो बहुत दिया तूने,
फिर भी, मुझे हमेशा कम लगा !

मैं कहना तो सीख गई,
जो भी तू करता है, अच्छे के लिए करता है !
पर स्वीकार नहीं कर पाई !
पड़ी रहती है कहीं अंतर्मन में,
शक की एक छोटी-सी डली !

I am still waiting the day I will have total acceptance and trust in existence...

प्यार

चल दोस्त...
आज प्यार बाँटते हैं

प्यार से बोलते हैं
प्यार से सुनते हैं
प्यार से देखते हैं

जो कह दे कोई बुरा-भला,
उसे गले लाककर,
उसका दर्द थोड़ा कम कर देते हैं

चल ना दोस्त..
एक दिन के लिए ही सही
प्यार बांटके देखते हैं

क्या इसे मोहब्बत कहेंगे ?

सब शोर लगता है,
तेरी आवाज के सिवा
क्या इसे मोहब्बत कहेंगे ?

कितना चाहती हूँ
तुझसे दूर जाना !
पर कैसे खींच लेता है तू ,
बिना आवाज दिए !
क्या इसे मोहब्बत कहेंगे ?

कभी कभी गुस्सा आता है,
अच्छा ख़ासा संसार था मेरा,
तूने उजाड़ के जंगल कर दिया !
जंगल का सरसराता अकेलापन,
डराता भी है,  भाता भी है !
क्या इसे मोहब्बत कहेंगे ?

रात का अँधेरा, अब काटता नहीं है
दुःख का घना बादल, अब सताता नहीं है

कह जाती है आंखें तेरी कुछ ऐसा ,

बस दिल ही समझ पाता है !
मैं बेजुवां हो जाती हूँ !
क्या इसे मोहब्बत कहेंगे ?

Translation for my dear Husband :-)

Everything is just noise,

Except your sweet voice

Am I in love with you?

I try hard to go away

But you pull me like magnet

Without any words
Am I in love with you?

Sometimes I feel angry,

I had a small world of my ideas

You broke everything,

Left me alone in jungle

I feel scared of wildness

And same time I enjoy vastness

Am I in love with you?

The darkness of the night, no longer fear me

The cloud of sadness, no longer torture me

Whenever I look into your eyes,

They say something silent

Only my heart understands

And I become speechless
Am I in love with you?