Few months’ back, I went to temple and prayed to God –oh God grant me a husband of real understanding. God replied –Go back to home my child, a man with real understanding never marry.
But I didn’t trust him. I decided I would make sure myself before taking any decisions. So I made 3 steps plan.
First : Whether I should go for love or arranged marriage
Second: Talk to an old married lady and know is it really essential to get married
Third: Talk to someone who has never been married.
As per my plans, I talked with my friend who got love marriage with her best friend. I asked her – tell me honestly is love marriage more beautiful than the arranged marriage.
She replied – In love marriage, you know everything about each other before marriage so after few years you start taking each other for granted. While in arranged marriage, gradually you explore each other so it takes longer.
I didn’t trust her also. I thought its human nature whatever you don’t have you think that is more attractive and valuable. So let me talk with someone who got arranged marriage. I hesitantly asked one of my friend- hey if you don’t mind, could you tell me is arranged marriage more beautiful than love marriage. He looked into my eyes and smiled at me- Do you really want to know the truth. I said – yes. He said – trust me! Marriage is marriage whether love or arrange. After few years everything is same.
I kept this answer in mind and took the second step. I went to meet one of my old aunt. I asked her- you have lived your life with uncle. You have been with uncle for 3000 days out of these days how many days you have been happy with him. Why do you still fight on same issues since so many years. Why any of you can’t surrender to other and close the argument for forever. She held my hand and kissed on my forehead and remained silent for few mints. I waited patiently. She stood up and looking out of window. She started saying – you know my child, this is how everybody lives. I had ups and downs in my life but I can’t say this with full authority that being married brought roses and wonders in life. So I can’t advice to get married but at the same time I don’t have idea how could be life without getting married. So its you need to search what is the right path for you.
I was totally confused so at last I went to an old man in ashram. We both were sitting under tree and river was flowing near by. Fresh wind was touching our faces. I raised my question –Baba, as per my observation, honeymoon period gets over after few years and there is a huge empty space between two people. Most of couples fill that space with children but once children are grown, they leave the house and again same huge empty space is present. People are continuously worried about their children, then their marriage and then grand children. They are hardly peaceful. So why do people get married.
He laughed loudly and said – close your eyes, you know the answer and nobody can help you because everybody has his own destiny. But definitely I would share one story with you. Few days back, I went to madhouse. Doctor took me for a walk around the madhouse. I saw one person was looking a photograph and crying loudly- Mayuri Mayuri. I asked the doctor –what is the case, doctor said – he didn’t get the girl he loved wholeheartedly. I felt what a poor soul he is. I moved a bit ahead and saw another man crying loudly looking at a photograph and shouting – Mayuri Mayuri. Do you know why he was crying. He was crying because he got married to Mayuri. So my child its your choice. Nothing is perfect. Every decision will bring some roses and some thorns.