Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Overflowing Happiness

Right now, I am feeling as if I never had any past and I directly landed to Oracle office from the sky.

Sometimes when happiness is overflowing. Past disappears and there are no worries about future. There is unknown masti in heart and you walk like a graceful dancer. You smile whoever cross your ways. If you are a software engineer and have those heights of happiness. Please go to washroom and dance. For me, washroom is best place to express overflowing happiness, overloaded sadness and uncontrollable anger. Thanks to Oracle for having clean and spacious Washroom. It has saved my job and my sanity is still intact in my colleague's eyes. People in my cubicle have become in habit of some of my abnormal activities such as I laugh and smile without much of interesting reasons. And sometimes I remain silent and don't look at them at all.

Ahha... feeling of happiness without any reasons as if I am flying with long wings. Body is weightless. A little fear, that it might leave me any moment and again I will be on the ground. But who cares... right now.flowers are showering on me from heaven. I am listening my heartbeat and breathe is relaxed. Eyes are twinkling like a child. Lips have no words but a mysterious smile. And I am feeling I have become really beautiful. I know this beautiful face. It glows only when existence decides to bless me with its abundant love and wants me to listen its songs and take a jump beyond routine chores. It feels as if I am carrying something very delicate thing in my womb. And every part of my body is dancing in silent rhythm with whole world. If there were no one in office I would have danced here and now in my cubicle.

How to hide this overflowing happiness?

Even my nails are doing khathak with keyboard and my hair are coming out of my ponytail. Ohhh God!! you have given me so much which I can't contain in me. Is there any way? I can show my gratefulness to you for this overflowing happiness. From where its flowing in my heart and where it is going from my heart. Will it enter into somebody else heart or it will go back to you and merge into you.

I am so small. My own happiness is just tiny and remains only on lips. But your blessings enters in every pore of my body, my soul and my heart. Sometimes I sit alone and laugh loudly and everything seems laughing with me...these tress, river and even rocks. People get scared seeing me sitting and laughing but they don't know what I am drinking. I drink your love and every time this love go one step deeper in me. Sometimes, I sing something which I never remember later and dance with my own shadow. My flatmates don't feel scared seeing me singing and dancing anymore. They wait when I would come back from this unknown state and cook dinner. Now, they have become in habit of my masti and tears.

God...you have given more than I deserve. My eyes are about to cry in your gratefulness. I am nobody and I have no great talent. I am not a true person. I lie so many times. I break heart also. But you give me unconditional love through so many sources. What can I say for your love? My love is limited only in few words. You take me beyond those boundaries without any of my efforts. Did you forgive all of my mistakes? Or those mistakes are not counted in your love. They are just like a sugar in tea.

So many times, I doubted you but you kept sending me gifts of love and compassion in so many different forms. Now, in this ultimate moment of happiness... What words I say to you. You are entering in me and I am losing my identity. Eyes are closing now. Mind is going out of words. I am here still I am not here. My body is at one place still I am feeling its in whirlpool. What else to say...allow me to close my eyes and drink this overflowing happiness.

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