Heart

Sometimes I am fast asleep
I don't  hear your whisper
Sometimes I am overburdened with outside world
I don't praise you when you get ready for me
Sometimes I am with my friends
I ignore your uneasiness in party
Sometimes I am highly ambitious
I don't look into your empty eyes
Sometimes I become hard like a stone
I don't respond your tender touch

Yes, many times I hurt you
Sometimes I take you granted
Sometimes I want to hide my vulnerability

Still..I expect you to understand all my childishness
And..be with me in all ups n downs
Smile on my ignorance
And see my heart behind all of my dramas
Because I trust,
You know..I can't go away from you in this life journey

अतीत

अब बहुत हुआ
अतीत का बोझ उठा -उठाकर
मैं थक गई हूँ
आज इसे छोड़कर
चलने का वक़्त आ गया है

नहीं है इसकी कोई जरूरत
पर मेरी बरसों की आदत है
हर ज़ख्म को कुरेदती रहूँ
ज़िन्दगी को गवाती रहूँ

सालों गुजर जाते हैं
और मैं आज भी
सालों पुरानी ज़िन्दगी जीती रहती हूँ

हरजा नहीं है
पर क्या आँख मेरी इतनी बंद है
जहाँ रोशिनी से मैं अपना दामन भर सकती हूँ
वहां अंधेरों में बार-बार जाकर दिया जलाती हूँ
जहाँ ज़िन्दगी मुझे फूलों से भरने में लगी है
वहां मैं काँटों का हिसाब रखूं

चलो अब बहुत हुआ
ये अतीत का बोझ
अब मैं इस छोड़ देती हूँ
इसमें रखा कुछ नहीं
बस कुछ तश्वीरें हैं
उन्हें देखकर कभी हंस लेती हूँ
कभी रो लेती हूँ

हरजा  नहीं है
पर अतीत में जीना भी क्या कोई जीना होता है
आज हर बीते दिन को मैं जाने देती हूँ

एक नई सुबहे की शुरुवात करती हूँ
जहाँ अतीत का पर्दा ना हो
जहाँ आँखों में धुंध ना हो
जहाँ दिल में कोई दाग ना हो

Ignorance

I accept my ignorance
I don't know anything
Whether God exist or not
Whether there is a soul or not
I know nothing...
What is the purpose of life
Why I am here ?
But..
I will not look answer anywhere anymore
I accept this nothingness
I can survive in this darkness
I can live in this ignorance
But...
I can't live in lies
I can't live in dreams
I can't hide myself

Yes,Its scary
As if there is no ground underneath
As if I am just born and wondering about everything
As if I am complete stranger to this world

My feet shake while walking
I don't know which direction to move
Standing nowhere Seeking myself

ऐसे ही

तुझे पाकर भी क्या पालेंगे हम
तुझे खोकर भी क्या खो देंगे हम
बेकार की जिद्दो-जेहद हे सनम
अब हम खुद को ढूंढने निकलेगे !

कभी ना सोचा था ज़िन्दगी में ऐसा मुकाम भी आएगा
ना होगा खुद का पता ना खुदा की खबर होगी

जब ज़िन्दगी का गढ़ित पता ही नहीं
तो फिर शिकयत किस्से और क्यों ?

Alone

Where can I run ?
How far I can run ?
Who can give me the truth ?
My beloved, even you can't come with me
Now,
I need to walk on my own
 I am scared of darkness and unknown path
But,
No one can come along with me
I need to walk alone
Trusting myself, one day the sun will rise
And I will see the rays of light in darkness

The Other

The moment you realize
Other can't fulfill you
Your whole world collapses
Your expectations drop and break into pieces

You no more control other
You no more hate other
You no more run behind anyone or anything

The other exist still doesn't exist

First time, you laugh on yourself
What a fool you were?

You were trying to fill
Which can't be filled Your 'empty space'
Which can't even be touched by anything or anyone

That day,
You give up race of Life
You relax into your emptiness
Where nothing matters
Neither love nor hatred
Neither success nor failure
Neither pleasure nor pain

'I'

Let the body and its problems be
Sometimes its healthy
Sometimes its weak

Let the mind and its continuous thinking be
Its nothing,
But bundle of information from outside
Which functions without my interference

Let the heart and its emotions be
Sometimes it brings sadness, anger and hatred
Sometimes it brings pleasure, love and forgiveness

Let the heart, mind and body be
Where do 'I' exist in them
Who is this 'I' ?
I don't find it anywhere
Does it mean 'I' is an illusion